evamis

i most recently have felt like i am serching for some thing ;……

fuck knows what it is ,i have given it a lot of thought yet i am still at a loss

i am a happy person, i feel full of sunshine altho i need some thing and in unawear of what it is .im up ant down at the mo, one second im oober jolly the next miserble as sin……….ive neglected my blog as all my problems are too close to home and i do not wish people to go “oh sam ill chear you up, what wrong with you ?”…because i rally dont know what it is ……….im fed up with complaning about stuff, shit and bollocks it never does me any good yet it seems to be all i do ,

ive been looking for another job all tho i dont rally know why, im say ing because i want to learn some thing new and usefull ( even tho im doing that now) all some stabilaty ,alto im quite enjoying the unstable-ness of this job so nether of them make sence …….all the ppl that matter say i sould make a dission and stick with it its some thing ive never done ( the only reson i was at the shop so long was because i could not walk away)…..i convince my self things are for me and that that thay would be the best way to do things, the only thing i rally know is i want a

• car/van
• some thing to work towordes and to make progress to

other than that i run out of things and thats a crap list

i love my computer and my music, i have the best close friends and a ever changing loverly wife

i still for some silly reson fell as if i could do grate things, some thing big some thing impressive

i really really do im so shor of it , fuck knows what it is tho , i have had too many oppatunitys and still have to do some thing all tho i dont use my recorces to make what ever it is happen

i keep having to go for “walks” to thing about stuff all tho when i come back i find all i have done is make it ok for a longer time , i dont want it to be ok i want it to be good ,ace or cracking

i want to be able to tell ppl every thing is good, ive avoded too many ppl recently , i find my self keep ing more and more to myself and not talking to ppl because in so fed up of moning ,

i went shoping for clothes the other day just to buy my self some thing to chear my self up, i dont wanna chear my self up , i dont want to cnstantly asses my self and try and work what ever it is out….its starting to hurt my brain ……….its like i wont let my self be content (why tho)

i swear if i was stupid things would be easy , id go to work wearever and come home and play my computer then go to bed then go out on the weekends and never give a thought to any of this shite,

i dont even know what to wright any more …………….?

so yeah ^ thats it

i have recently added (i use added as a very loose term) sevral programs to my computer ,however the joy that is linux ,wants my inner computer geniuse to pluck said programs from the deep dark depths of its computery mind.

“a long time ago in a file system not too faraway, in a maze guarded by many opinionated Minotaurs, you will find several audio editing programs….these programs have no names , thay have no identity…….they mealy are
never to be found, never to feel the loving touch of another………….”

many many long face

this saddens my tiny face because i beleve the resion i can not grow a proper beard is because i carnt find these programs…………this all so means as i cannot grow a beard, i will never be a real man thus never truly understand what it is to be human.

i fear i will tern to jesus

help, i might cry

  what is admin ?

the British people  love admin, they all do it, its like the job of choice

but what is it ? it congers up ideas  of staplers and photocopiers and Microsoft office,  but what are they achely doing ? whats on all the paper they staple, and what are all the spread sheets they wright …….shorly there is not enugh money in britan to keep these thousands of people in pens and desk tidys,

they may as well say the work in “vague”  its better than admi,

admin comes from adminashration  (witch my internet thesosorus ses is)

administering, agency, application, authority, charge, command, conduct, conducting, control, directing, direction, dispensation, disposition, distribution, enforcement, execution, governing, government, guidance, handling, jurisdiction, legislation, order, organization, overseeing, oversight, performance, policy, power, provision, regulation, rule

eh, rally ? all that shit ? all them words that mean different things ?…some one is having a laugh!

it baffels me there is a massive website called “monster” witch contains a silly silly amount of admin jobs, its almost all admin…….what are they all doing shorly one word can not describe all them jobs ? can it ?

if some one askes you where you are from do you say “earth”…NO

if some one says “excuse me, how old are you?” do you reply ” middle aged”  NO

also, there are more spesific terms like, admin assistant and admin clerk

this leads me to believe that the admin assistant must hold the stapler longing for the administrator to poke a piece of paper between the shiny metal teeth or be paused with there tong out waiting to like the envelope of (just a plain) administrator…..

fuck knows what a clerk it? my thesaurus says
agent, amanuensis, auditor, bookkeeper, cashier, company monkey, copyist, counter jumper*, counterperson, employee, notary, office helper, operator, paper pusher*, paper shuffler*, pen pusher*, pencil pusher*, pink collar, receptionist, recorder, registrar, salesperson, secretary, seller, shopman, stenographer, teller, transcriber, worker

thinking about it meaby  we have a country of clerks ……

what are they doing ?……its like unfunny sarcasm.

the next time some one in “admin” asks what you do , look at them straght in the eye and enounce well and utter

“WORK”

and see what they say ….

personly i hope it makes them sad, like a small peice of them has just died

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also bytey p wins today, let it be known           he is a king amongst men

now then, people

ive spent a good chunk of this weekend being angry, mainly with my self but angry all the sam. to the point where  every tiny thing has enraged me like a sheep with its head traped in a fence being prodded by children with sticks

so yeah, angey

first is was because ive spent a lot of time in out of my dept, in clever convocations , witch infuriates me. i love a good clever convo and it propper fuckes me off if i carnt get involved and i have feeling a tard

then my computers lack of manners and general politeness  fucked me off its like it speaks German , i dont speek german lol

so then ive just spent the rest  of my weekend trying to chill out ….

witch is mental as on the hole its been quite good , ive helped the pness  sort shit out in his office , we had ben and sam over on sat night  with there lappys

went to toys’r'us and ikea today to look at a trippl e pc

i start my new job tomoro ,,, wish me luck

(applagies for the crap post )

if it was more in depth it would be a rant with no grounds or reson

i hate not having knolege to bac a well thought out argument

ill be quick, ive been playing with gimp and ive made these

evamis purple

evamis

also ive been half watching “cops camera action”, there are some right numpties. its as if they have been playing too much GTA

one guy stole a car, ragged it though Manchester………being followed by police ……at speed

raced to his house (save point) …ran in, got changed then came back out …..as if all his stars would have gone ……………….its noy GTA matey, if you get caught you go to prison, if you go home and put some different pants and hat on ….the police still know who you are ….dick head!

blog out

of late ive been lacking in inspiration/motivation as to what what to write on my blog, ive had a lot of things happen recently i dident rally feel like broadcasting, + ive been trying not to just slate people i know …..as its getting hard as some of them are proper job n00bs from primate city …

i tryed to go out on the lash on Saturday , i went to toms( i tuck my camera as i was feeling particularly art) ,we had beer and listened to some cracking music, i tuck loads of photos and all of them where just shit , granted tom and ian are not the most photogenic of people, hey react like white knickers to uv light….you just carnt point a camra at them it was a foolish idea…….so that noyerd me up a dabble  …then i went to the robin with them, got my self a beer, a randomer came out of the crowd and shuck my hand (i had a face of confusion)  ….

i saw some one i haddent seen  since i had my shop, all she did was wine and moan about her life and consume my night …..( i was lacking in time for other people)…then said randomer from befor came and sat with us, he then as if we where bestist buddies from many moons ago started talking to me ,like rally friendly…….after much small talk he got to the point, he felt the need to inform me that because i had a flower shop “every one” thought i was gay,

fair enuff i thought, whilst i was full of ale …………..this is not fair enuff, you cannot prance around in your armor or normalised circumstance, claming he is “every one” how can one man feel so enpowerd by unity with idiots to come up with such a profound statement…

he the whent on to say

“well if you have a flower shop your gay arnt you, arnt you?”

now what exactly am i suppose to say? …im clearly not gay (all tho i was not fighting my corner with my skinny batman tshirt , oxblood cords and skull and crossbones necker lol)

i just wonderd off ….all tho its played on my mind ever since……….

any way i finished my deink and went home i was in bed by 11.30 …night on the beer FAILD

+ im watching vanhelsing, its a CGI disaster

Question.

why is it people like to keep there knowledge, every thing i know and am aware of  i am willing to share…..

altho there are meany people that treasure their knowledge, place it in a shiny box and polish it and keep it clean and never show it to the world.

im talking about computer knowledge, i have recently got a shiny new lappy, running linux ….witch has caused controversy and touched a nerve of many people, its amazing how people get so attached to there operating systems. its like they feel the need to justify why they run what ever they run and how what there not running is eather not as good or just the same so what’s the point   ……..

i am in my first 2 days of linux and am yet to involve myself in said argument until i can come to an informed concussion, witch im going to struggle to do so when people keep there cards so close to there chests  ……………..

i rally dont mean to be a pain but you know the best way to learn is to do it, and thats hard work when you have already done it ! is’nt it

id like to think next time i ask, i wont get stick for not knowing shit…but we all know thats a lie

These are the times words and thoughts rattle round our heads like misplaced mentally ill patent looking for some thing they lost all tho never truly had to start with

Times you find your self regressing back to every time you wronged some one with out making it right, even if its your self you wronged

Thought of “what ifs?” and “if id onlys” pulse though your mind and body, as if there arctic lorries racing to catch the unstoppable caffeine train raging relentlessly though my vains

You may find your self avoiding windows and mirrors as the night light plays tricks with your easily led astray mind

There are zombies in my garden

first joan jett is 49 ……….not fifty

that is fine for 49

secont how cool is this

see if you can see a face you might know hidden there …….i sent a text in many moons ago and never thought any thing off it and sharona found it randomly ….

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/colinmurray/galleries/472/#gallery472

all so i found this loverly photo of my wife and i thought i might put it up here

yes woman buck your ideas up…or it will be cats all the way for you !

good idea/bad idea ?

the misses and i had the inpromptue idea to sand the floors down stairs in our house (its cheaper than hard wood flooring)………..oh jesus christ on a bicycle cycling sideways though ikea on a Saturday in December ! my house is dusty !!!!

many many dusty

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reminder to self

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wright blog about

• fun in a bun
• chopper
• the other side of the bed
• muscles hurting
• tea
• new years resolutions (update)

+ how cools joan jett !